In honor of last week's portal post and yesterday's discovery that Aperture Science Pr is following my on Twitter (I feel accomplished, now!) I named the post Still Alive. Well, that and how sporadically I post on here. I'd love to post more often, but between studying for Japanese and more studying for Japanese I can hardly find time for my other classes and sleeping anymore. So aside from those complaints, on with the Blog!
Riddle me this, Batman: What changed kid's cartoons? Why are they so stupid, mundane, predictable yet bizarre? Here's a few suggestions for why.
1. "Kids like Random, right?" It's not "random". Not a single joke is "random" anymore. I can still sit and predict jokes in most TV shows unless they are puposefully designed to not make sense. Sometimes even then. The only thing "random" is what the people were smoking when they came up with character/design choices for shows like Flapjack or Adventure Time. Nobody who says "lol, Random." with a straight face knows what the word "random" really means. Roll a six-sided die. Did you get a six? How about a five? That's chance. Did you get a seven? That's Random. (go read the book The Black Swan: The impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb ). Did you predict what the roll of the dice would be? That's random (that, or you're Sasha Nein).
What Random ISN'T is "Let's make a main character who is childish, looks kinda like my great-aunt's cat, loves food, and is dumb as a post. That's random, right? Kids like random, right?" No. That isn't Random. If you go to www.tvtropes.org and spend a little time there (Don't go if you have something important to do in the next few days, it's that addictive). See if they aren't completely right about every trend on tv, in movies, and in any other form of media. There's a trope for everything, and since watching this I can't help but sit and predict everything that happens, including picking out which characters will die next, who will get with who, and which things that were passingly mentioned before will turn out to save the day (Hint: It's the thing that gets explained in semi-detail at the start of the episode that will turn out to be important. Keep in mind key details of the problem and the pseudoscience. It works best in Eureka).
2. "So, people like reality TV, right?" The Total Drama series is the main offender here. Why -why- WHY do people seem to think kids like this crap? Only older teens like this stuff, and the only reasons older teens are watching the Total Drama series is because it's that or watch Spongebob, which hasn't been good since -EVER- (see problem number one). (Though I would much rather watch Spongebob than some of the other offenders). I don't watch Jersey Shore because they're a bunch of complete tosspots. The only reason the Total Drama series is better is because the characters on that series aren't media-whoring on the news, too.
3. "Who should we get to voice act in this? A squirrel? Sure. How do we draw it? Poorly? Okay." Anyone who has even looked at Flapjack can see it's a complete eyesore, and the voice acting of the main character doesn't help. These people are talented, why are they stuck in these crap jobs?! Looking at the backgrounds: the patterns move. Not only does this not work aesthetically, it can cause migraines. Not helping is the squishy art style making everyone look like they consist of tumors and bacon fat. Voice actors are talented people, and so are people who can draw with any capacity, why are they voicing characters who are designed to be completely obnoxious and drawing characters that match? It's rather sad.
4. "Kids like snot jokes and talking about barf, right?" How I hate this misconception. As a child I didn't like shows like Cow and Chicken because of the former reasons and because of THIS. Why is snot an acceptable source of humor? Same with other bodily functions. It's really not funny, it's quite disgusting. I especially hate that stock sound of someone trying to suck their snot back into their nose. Even typing that sentence puts an upsetting visual and sound into my mind that makes me sorely want more coffee to drown it out. It's disgusting, guys. Stop it.
5. "Who should we get to direct this? Spielberg? Nah, let's get my friend of a friend. He's clever, right?" What I wouldn't give for another Spielberg cartoon. One of the people from the Animaniacs is working on an entirely improv cartoon based on cartoon vultures. I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. PLEASE. It can't be bad so long as they don't fall into the previous categories! I just want someone who can write a joke I can't roll my eyes at before walking outside. I want to get a chuckle out of my cartoons again! Please, someone get Spielberg. Or Paul Dini (back in cartoons, if you please, Mr. Dini. Cartoon network is for CARTOONS. ), or Bruce Timm! How many times must I say their names before someone realizes that the cartoon superheros of the 90's, Freakazoid, the Animaniacs, and Pinky and the Brain were some of the only good shows on TV at the time?! Heck, they need to just start putting stuff from Boomerang back on Cartoon Network! THEY WERE GOOD CARTOONS.
Well now that I've had my prerequisite repetative rant for the morning, have a nice Wednesday morning, everyone! And to people reading this in the future: Have a nice day no matter what time of the week it is!
Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Ideas I never see.
So everybody has something unique about their characters that makes them special, right? Well, how many times have you heard the same thing? bored spoiled princess, tough girl, lone hero, suddenly-orphaned hero of the day, superhero who's family/friends/planet are dead/destroyed, whatever. We've heard it all before, haven't we? So why are there still ideas that are somewhat unique that we never see?
Color-blindness. It's a common enough occurrence (and not just a genetic trait to men, only certain kinds are strictly-male.)and a genuine problem for some. One can still work around it, while it still hampers some.
Light-sensitivity. It's a good reason for the good guy to wear sunglasses at night without being that "dark and tormented soul" we keep hearing about. It's a serious problem that takes serious working around, so why do people opt instead for having a dark and tormented past or being entirely blind?
Inability to feel pain. Do people not realize just how big an issue that is? It may be difficult to work around, but not being able to feel pain can be a serious problem for a character to try to work with.
Broken Bones. It seems obvious, but I rarely see any character who keeps a cast for anywhere near the amount of time a person with a broken bone should keep a cast on. It happens occasionally in cartoons that someone gets a bone broken and spends all of one episode in a cast, but I don't think I have ever seen it last for any length of time. A pity, since it is something one would need to work around. I see how it could only work for about an episode in a cartoon, but it's not often someone simply breaks a bone in a book. It's either a severe injury, or it's shrugged off after a bit. Kind of a pity, really.
A real disease. I'm just mentioning this because usually if some character has a disease, it's typically one that was made up. After a while I start to wonder who has more diseases: Reality, or the land of fiction.
War wounds that are still open. War wounds almost always seem to be old scars. What if the fight wasn't that long ago? It'd be more interesting to see the pain an infected war wound causes than seeing the battle scars. Scars tell a story, open wounds show one.
Just a few of many ideas that'd be nice to see more of once in a while.
Color-blindness. It's a common enough occurrence (and not just a genetic trait to men, only certain kinds are strictly-male.)and a genuine problem for some. One can still work around it, while it still hampers some.
Light-sensitivity. It's a good reason for the good guy to wear sunglasses at night without being that "dark and tormented soul" we keep hearing about. It's a serious problem that takes serious working around, so why do people opt instead for having a dark and tormented past or being entirely blind?
Inability to feel pain. Do people not realize just how big an issue that is? It may be difficult to work around, but not being able to feel pain can be a serious problem for a character to try to work with.
Broken Bones. It seems obvious, but I rarely see any character who keeps a cast for anywhere near the amount of time a person with a broken bone should keep a cast on. It happens occasionally in cartoons that someone gets a bone broken and spends all of one episode in a cast, but I don't think I have ever seen it last for any length of time. A pity, since it is something one would need to work around. I see how it could only work for about an episode in a cartoon, but it's not often someone simply breaks a bone in a book. It's either a severe injury, or it's shrugged off after a bit. Kind of a pity, really.
A real disease. I'm just mentioning this because usually if some character has a disease, it's typically one that was made up. After a while I start to wonder who has more diseases: Reality, or the land of fiction.
War wounds that are still open. War wounds almost always seem to be old scars. What if the fight wasn't that long ago? It'd be more interesting to see the pain an infected war wound causes than seeing the battle scars. Scars tell a story, open wounds show one.
Just a few of many ideas that'd be nice to see more of once in a while.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Why we Need to fix Cartoons.
I know it may seem odd to ramble on it now, but I really miss Batman the Animated Series. The one that started in 1992. I also miss Superman the Animated Series, the Justice League, The Justice League Unlimited, Batman Beyond, the Zeta Project,Static Shock, the Animaniacs, Freakazoid, and Pinky and the Brain.
Know why?
I'll give you three guesses.
That's right.
THEY WERE GOOD.
Nowadays I can't find any cartoons I would actually care about, and if I ever had kids I don't really think I'd let them watch Spongebob or Flapjack or Adventure Time or any of these newer cartoons because they're really not that great. They aren't that funny, the plots are either predictable or just pathetic, the animation is meh, and sometimes you can even hear bad voice acting!
Let me give you just a taste of how the Batman series took people seriously, for those jaded few of you who have never watched it.
After an orchestral intro in which we hear both the dark and moody tones of Gotham and the victorious trumpet theme of our superhero, we start on a black screen.
The lights come up on a painted backdrop of a dim room where only one table is visible, with a group of iconic evils sitting around it.
The Joker, with his naturally stark-white skin and bright red lips smiling over yellowed teeth is dealing. He's got a custom-made purple suit with an acid-squirting pink carnation in the lapel, not to mention an extra ace up his sleeve.
Two-Face is split down the middle; one half of his face is the innocent and handsome face of Harvey Dent, the other half the malicious and scarred face of his more jaded half, one massive yellowed eye staring out at the poker faces of his compatriots. His suit is black and white, as contrasting as the halves of his personalities.
Penguin sits and drinks some tea, hoping not to lose more of the Cobblepot family fortune in the poker game tonight. He is completely unaware of how bad his poker-face is, and that plays to the advantage of his conniving friends. Luckily, the Joker isn't the only one with a few extra cards.
Killer Croc stares at the cards in his hands, far too small for his natural size and strength, while picking a bit of what was probably the mailman out of his teeth, before being kicked out of his chair.
"Mind if I play, boys?" Poison Ivy walks in and steals Killer Croc's chair, leaving the crocodile to growl and find a new chair. Nobody messes with Poison Ivy, Harvey knows that.
"Pam. It's been a while."
"how are you feeling, Harvey?"
"Half of me wants to strangle you."
"And the other half?"
"The other half wants to run you over with a truck."
There was an awkward pause before Poison Ivy picks up her hand of cards.
"We used to date." There was a sound of the entire group suddenly getting the joke.
Without even bringing Batman into the story, this rough example from the episode "Almost Got 'im!" shows off the menace of each of the villains even while they do something relatively mundane. Add that to the phenomenal voice acting (Mark Hamil as the Joker, Kevin Conroy as Batman, Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn, and other fantastic actors all work in the Batman series), quality painted backgrounds and characters (compare a painted scene like Batman to a computer-animated show like The Batman from 2004-2008, personally I find that there is a definite subtle difference in quality.), great voice direction from Andrea Romano, fantastic music, and genuinely interesting characters, and you've got a GREAT show. This is all personal opinion, of course, but it makes me wonder how we've fallen so far.
From Batman the Animated Series to Johnny Test. Why have our standards for cartoons fallen? Eighteen years is not as long a time as you might think. I think we should ask for some quality in our cartoons. Batman took children and teens seriously, while still being watchable for the little ones and still being entertaining for adults. Nowadays I can't even stand to be in the same room as most of the stuff playing on TV, not just cartoons.
Would someone kindly make a Superhero tv-series that gets back to the old formula? Something that both children and adults can watch without feeling like their I.Q. is dropping? I miss Freakazoid and the Animaniacs. At least they had jokes for both kids and adults without being offensive or just boring.
Know why?
I'll give you three guesses.
That's right.
THEY WERE GOOD.
Nowadays I can't find any cartoons I would actually care about, and if I ever had kids I don't really think I'd let them watch Spongebob or Flapjack or Adventure Time or any of these newer cartoons because they're really not that great. They aren't that funny, the plots are either predictable or just pathetic, the animation is meh, and sometimes you can even hear bad voice acting!
Let me give you just a taste of how the Batman series took people seriously, for those jaded few of you who have never watched it.
After an orchestral intro in which we hear both the dark and moody tones of Gotham and the victorious trumpet theme of our superhero, we start on a black screen.
The lights come up on a painted backdrop of a dim room where only one table is visible, with a group of iconic evils sitting around it.
The Joker, with his naturally stark-white skin and bright red lips smiling over yellowed teeth is dealing. He's got a custom-made purple suit with an acid-squirting pink carnation in the lapel, not to mention an extra ace up his sleeve.
Two-Face is split down the middle; one half of his face is the innocent and handsome face of Harvey Dent, the other half the malicious and scarred face of his more jaded half, one massive yellowed eye staring out at the poker faces of his compatriots. His suit is black and white, as contrasting as the halves of his personalities.
Penguin sits and drinks some tea, hoping not to lose more of the Cobblepot family fortune in the poker game tonight. He is completely unaware of how bad his poker-face is, and that plays to the advantage of his conniving friends. Luckily, the Joker isn't the only one with a few extra cards.
Killer Croc stares at the cards in his hands, far too small for his natural size and strength, while picking a bit of what was probably the mailman out of his teeth, before being kicked out of his chair.
"Mind if I play, boys?" Poison Ivy walks in and steals Killer Croc's chair, leaving the crocodile to growl and find a new chair. Nobody messes with Poison Ivy, Harvey knows that.
"Pam. It's been a while."
"how are you feeling, Harvey?"
"Half of me wants to strangle you."
"And the other half?"
"The other half wants to run you over with a truck."
There was an awkward pause before Poison Ivy picks up her hand of cards.
"We used to date." There was a sound of the entire group suddenly getting the joke.
Without even bringing Batman into the story, this rough example from the episode "Almost Got 'im!" shows off the menace of each of the villains even while they do something relatively mundane. Add that to the phenomenal voice acting (Mark Hamil as the Joker, Kevin Conroy as Batman, Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn, and other fantastic actors all work in the Batman series), quality painted backgrounds and characters (compare a painted scene like Batman to a computer-animated show like The Batman from 2004-2008, personally I find that there is a definite subtle difference in quality.), great voice direction from Andrea Romano, fantastic music, and genuinely interesting characters, and you've got a GREAT show. This is all personal opinion, of course, but it makes me wonder how we've fallen so far.
From Batman the Animated Series to Johnny Test. Why have our standards for cartoons fallen? Eighteen years is not as long a time as you might think. I think we should ask for some quality in our cartoons. Batman took children and teens seriously, while still being watchable for the little ones and still being entertaining for adults. Nowadays I can't even stand to be in the same room as most of the stuff playing on TV, not just cartoons.
Would someone kindly make a Superhero tv-series that gets back to the old formula? Something that both children and adults can watch without feeling like their I.Q. is dropping? I miss Freakazoid and the Animaniacs. At least they had jokes for both kids and adults without being offensive or just boring.
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