Monday, May 23, 2011

Happy Explosion Day, Gorgeous.

So I had an idea for a Portal 2-related scene. It's a little something to give a little bit of back story on our favorite adventuring computer core.

"Well I'll be a Blackbelt's mudder." The Texan drawl remarked from behind a blast shield, recently turned black. Rick was watching the most spectacular explosion he'd seen that hour. It always put a thrill in his heart to working the explosives part of Aperture. Coincidentally, he was the only one left to work in that sector. He didn't mind much, it was a fabulous little place, and every day someone would bring him in some food. Seasoned with just a little bit of gunpowder, and a whole 'lotta spice. Just the way he liked it.

"Something special, Rick?" Sweet miss Caroline's voice remarked from the door. The person who normally brought Rick food was out (stupid Interns always ditched when they heard it was their day to sign up for testing...) so she volunteered to bring in Rick's food. He was always so wrapped up in making a bigger boom, he sometimes forgot about eating. But when he did, he ate big, and he kept himself up. He was probably the biggest, toughest scientist there. Always aced all of the tests. In record time.

"Suuure thing, pretty lady. Workin' on a little somethin'. Like a firework, but a whooole lot bigger."

"Can I see sometime, Rick?" Oh that sweet, innocent little smile. Melted his heart every time. From just about every girl he saw. But she didn't need to know that.

"All in due time, Gorgeous. I've got somethin' big planned for Aperture. You'll love it. When it's ready, though, I can give you a little... sneak preview." He smirked and gave her a little wink.

"Mister Johnson would hate you for that." Caroline looked away to brush her hair aside. It was a very poorly-kept secret that she had a kid, and an even poorer-kept secret that it was Cave Johnson's. Still, Rick hit on every girl equally, so long as they were even remotely pretty.

"Let him hate me, Darlin'. He can't fire his only explosives guy. Who else would make those exploding lemons he's asked for? Which, by the way, should be done shortly. Speaking of which, would you like some lemonade?" He gestured toward some lemonade that seemed to be on fire. She grimaced at it, but he poured a glass anyways.

"Um, ew. No thanks, I really... really don't think that's my kind of thing." She mostly didn't want to drink anything flammable. She learned a -long- time ago not to eat or drink anything at Aperture if she could help it.

"Suit y'self, gorgeous." Rick didn't even bother putting out the fire before downing the entire glass and stifling a burp. "Pardon'." as he said it, a thin line of smoke curled out from his mouth.

Caroline giggled a little at that. "I'll see you later, Rick." She left the steak there.

A few weeks later, Rick sauntered through the offices. "HELLOOOOO GORGEOUS~! Happy Explosion Day!" Rick called from all the way across the office, making others look up.

"Fact: You are incredibly disruptive to the testing environment."

"Stuffit, purple shirt! I was talkin' to the preeetty lady, MISS CAROLINE~!" Rick called again across the room.

"Oh what IS it, Rick?!" Caroline sounded stressed, probably because Rick was calling her gorgeous in front of everybody, and -incredibly- loudly, too.

"Didn't mean nothin', miss Caroline, no need to be all huffy. Just wanted to offer you a minnit of my time to escort you to the best view you'll ever see. An Explosion Day for all Explosion Days." He pulled Caroline by the shoulder back to his office (with Caroline deciding not to protest, if only because she doubted she could tell off the great big Texan who could bench press the cows he got his steak from.

"Alright. Just don't keep me away long, my lunch break is only for an hour." She grumbled, and followed Rick out to his testing track, a nice bit place. He pressed a button and pulled Caroline out to a light bridge, sitting in the middle of it and holding Caroline up.

"Now then, Gorgeous. Just hold on to me and look right over there." He pointed out toward the middle of one of the same stark white walls as all the other stark white walls.

"Whatever Rick, this better be g-" She stopped short while the fire plumed out. A nice deep booming sound echoed around the testing track and rendered them both a little hard of hearing for a while. "HAPPY EXPLOSION DAY, GORGEOUS! WOOOOHOOO!" Rick yelled while the smoke went everywhere, holding up a sleeve to his mouth, which Caroline copied. They wanted to keep the moon dust out of their faces, after all.

"That was awesome, Rick." Caroline admitted. Her heart was all A-flutter.

Rick didn't show up the next day at the office.

Or the next.

Mister Johnson was just as nice to Caroline as ever, but no Rick.

Still no Rick the next week.

Eventually, Caroline walked into Rick's office and found a note on his desk.

"We had a great Explosion Day, Gorgeous. But now I have to leave." It was signed at the bottom. Caroline wondered why Rick's hand writing was so similar to Cave's, but she just put the card into her bag and left. Mister Johnson wanted to talk to her about a computer, or something. She would hate to keep him waiting. She'd think about why Rick left so suddenly a little bit later.

Friday, May 6, 2011

An Apologetic Character Sheet

So it's been a long, LONG time. Time to get back to blogging, as an apology for how long I've been away!

For those of you wondering, I've been distracted by Portal 2. Not the game (which I still haven't played, as I don't have $50 worth of dosh kicking around to pay for it, since I just bought a SWEET new Laptop from Alienware). What I've -really- been distracted by is the Twitter Roleplay. It's plenty of fun to play through (I seem to have adopted @FatTurret, and she is dating @Spaaaaccee_core, among other complete madness that is way too much fun) and has made me realize that nobody knows what this time-traveler looks like, or really anything else about me! So here's a character sheet!



Alias: DarkSteam
Actual name: Johnathan. (You don't need to know my last name.)
Years aged: 32
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Black
Hair length: short
Gender: Male
Current Occupation: Time traveler
Past occupation: Literary critic by day, Victorian Vigilante by night

* Black trenchcoat
* Pocketwatch with 5-foot chain
* Haslett's Lung Protector
* Goggles
* Cabby Hat
* Black boots
* Black pants
* button-up black shirt
* Black gloves


* Knows how to use pocketwatch as Garotte wire
* Good with the English Language
* Can pick up modern-day technology easily enough
* Blisteringly astounding luck
* Small amount of Parkour knowledge
* Knows what the little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called


* Robots
* Things with AI
* People who understand technology and coding
* People who write well
* People who can take criticism
* Artists
* Steampunk/Steampunks
* Techno music
* Coffee
* Innumerable modern fandoms
* Sherlock holmes
* Mocking fanfiction and bad literature


* Bad literature
* Idiots and unnecessarily mean people
* Bad writers
* Not being able to understand modern terms
* Not knowing how to work the time machine
* Not knowing how to -fix- the time machine
* Explaining what an icosahedron is for the seventh time (It's a D20, alright?!)
* Anime that doesn't make sense
* When people use apostrophes in names
* People who don't know how to use apostrophes
* Realizing he's listed way too much stuff and has gone on for far too long.

Favorite food: Whatever Erik is making for dinner. It looks good.

Favorite person: Erik. He knows more about the time machine than I do, and I built the thing!

Where am I currently: the Pacific Northwest of the United States. Present day.
Where am I from: London, England. Victorian Era.

How did I get the Time-machine:
'Made it. But it was mostly sheer luck, I have no idea how I accomplished it. It's made of brass plates, gears, wires, mysterious colored/glowing liquids, springs, glue, a gum-like substance, and possibly something radioactive. Among other bits and pieces. There are no windows, there is no way to control where or when it lands. I need to fix that.

Biological relatives: presumably none living.

Favorite colors: Brass, absinthe green, Matrix green.
Favorite era (that isn't Victorian or Modern) :
...uh... I liked the 1920's to 1940's I guess... That's an odd question.

Who is Erik: This is answered in my "idiot's guide to time-travel" post. In short, he's my best friend and the person who taught me all about the modern world, and everything I missed between the victorian era and now!

Ask me questions to add in via the comments section!

(Note: The writer for this blog is actually female, but blogs in character as DarkSteam, who is male. Just so we're clear.)