Sherlock Holmes, House MD, Resident Evil: Degeneration, and Final Fantasy X. What do they have in common?
That's right~! Terrible romance side-stories made of cardboard and spackle. You may wonder why I count the plot of FFX as a "romance side-story", and that's because I hate Tidus almost as much as a much more prominent videogame reviewer I could mention. It's a side story because nobody plays to see the stupid tosspot protagonists make googly eyes at each other, they play for the stodgy JRPG battle system and neat-looking monsters. (At least that's the only reason I can think of).
Why do writers feel the need to stick bad romance plots into every story? It seems to be a mostly American thing, and I can't figure out why for the life of me. It's incredibly absurd, and never looks good.
"Oh look, a guy and a girl that laughed at each other's jokes. The end of this movie will be a wedding." Does that thought sound vaguely familiar? It'd be more surprising if two people smiled and laughed at each other in an action movie and then spent the entire movie as "just friends". You guys know that a wedding doesn't mean it's a happy ending, right? It just means you're sequel baiting for a terrible romantic comedy somewhere in the future.
And while we're on the subject, girls like me who make blogs like this hate romantic comedies. So I probably won't review any. When I --a typically non-movie-goer-- can sit and tell you who will kiss who by the end of the movie, you aren't writing a shocking twist when the male hero surprise-kisses the heroic female. It's the twist for the braindead kids sitting there who only want to see tired movie stereotypes.
Next time you want to write a romance, how about an end monologue like this:
"So. The war was over. It was time to go home. We were rushed to pack, and I lost a medal in the move. It wasn't the loss that bothered me. What bothered me is... That cute blond in the mess hall I only spoke to once?...Well, I lost her number."
[scan through packing montage, pan to a view of the lunch lady singing on stage, walking off, then finding a bouquet of roses with a label listing it "From Dave" with a picture of the hero nearby, and his number on the card]
It's more subtle. Not great (especially not since it was written over the course of one minute) but it wasn't bad. And it wasn't an end-movie kiss.
Sorry for the post-delay, the last week was just kinda tough on my schedule. I'll try to post on Wednesday again and find some kind of schedule for the blog.
Have a good future Valentines' day, everyone!
Edit: I would like to remark that the addition of Sherlock Holmes was entirely for the recent movie, not any other part of the franchise, and that a bad romance does not make a bad series. (I actually like the Sherlock Holmes movie quite a lot.)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Still alive...
In honor of last week's portal post and yesterday's discovery that Aperture Science Pr is following my on Twitter (I feel accomplished, now!) I named the post Still Alive. Well, that and how sporadically I post on here. I'd love to post more often, but between studying for Japanese and more studying for Japanese I can hardly find time for my other classes and sleeping anymore. So aside from those complaints, on with the Blog!
Riddle me this, Batman: What changed kid's cartoons? Why are they so stupid, mundane, predictable yet bizarre? Here's a few suggestions for why.
1. "Kids like Random, right?" It's not "random". Not a single joke is "random" anymore. I can still sit and predict jokes in most TV shows unless they are puposefully designed to not make sense. Sometimes even then. The only thing "random" is what the people were smoking when they came up with character/design choices for shows like Flapjack or Adventure Time. Nobody who says "lol, Random." with a straight face knows what the word "random" really means. Roll a six-sided die. Did you get a six? How about a five? That's chance. Did you get a seven? That's Random. (go read the book The Black Swan: The impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb ). Did you predict what the roll of the dice would be? That's random (that, or you're Sasha Nein).
What Random ISN'T is "Let's make a main character who is childish, looks kinda like my great-aunt's cat, loves food, and is dumb as a post. That's random, right? Kids like random, right?" No. That isn't Random. If you go to www.tvtropes.org and spend a little time there (Don't go if you have something important to do in the next few days, it's that addictive). See if they aren't completely right about every trend on tv, in movies, and in any other form of media. There's a trope for everything, and since watching this I can't help but sit and predict everything that happens, including picking out which characters will die next, who will get with who, and which things that were passingly mentioned before will turn out to save the day (Hint: It's the thing that gets explained in semi-detail at the start of the episode that will turn out to be important. Keep in mind key details of the problem and the pseudoscience. It works best in Eureka).
2. "So, people like reality TV, right?" The Total Drama series is the main offender here. Why -why- WHY do people seem to think kids like this crap? Only older teens like this stuff, and the only reasons older teens are watching the Total Drama series is because it's that or watch Spongebob, which hasn't been good since -EVER- (see problem number one). (Though I would much rather watch Spongebob than some of the other offenders). I don't watch Jersey Shore because they're a bunch of complete tosspots. The only reason the Total Drama series is better is because the characters on that series aren't media-whoring on the news, too.
3. "Who should we get to voice act in this? A squirrel? Sure. How do we draw it? Poorly? Okay." Anyone who has even looked at Flapjack can see it's a complete eyesore, and the voice acting of the main character doesn't help. These people are talented, why are they stuck in these crap jobs?! Looking at the backgrounds: the patterns move. Not only does this not work aesthetically, it can cause migraines. Not helping is the squishy art style making everyone look like they consist of tumors and bacon fat. Voice actors are talented people, and so are people who can draw with any capacity, why are they voicing characters who are designed to be completely obnoxious and drawing characters that match? It's rather sad.
4. "Kids like snot jokes and talking about barf, right?" How I hate this misconception. As a child I didn't like shows like Cow and Chicken because of the former reasons and because of THIS. Why is snot an acceptable source of humor? Same with other bodily functions. It's really not funny, it's quite disgusting. I especially hate that stock sound of someone trying to suck their snot back into their nose. Even typing that sentence puts an upsetting visual and sound into my mind that makes me sorely want more coffee to drown it out. It's disgusting, guys. Stop it.
5. "Who should we get to direct this? Spielberg? Nah, let's get my friend of a friend. He's clever, right?" What I wouldn't give for another Spielberg cartoon. One of the people from the Animaniacs is working on an entirely improv cartoon based on cartoon vultures. I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. PLEASE. It can't be bad so long as they don't fall into the previous categories! I just want someone who can write a joke I can't roll my eyes at before walking outside. I want to get a chuckle out of my cartoons again! Please, someone get Spielberg. Or Paul Dini (back in cartoons, if you please, Mr. Dini. Cartoon network is for CARTOONS. ), or Bruce Timm! How many times must I say their names before someone realizes that the cartoon superheros of the 90's, Freakazoid, the Animaniacs, and Pinky and the Brain were some of the only good shows on TV at the time?! Heck, they need to just start putting stuff from Boomerang back on Cartoon Network! THEY WERE GOOD CARTOONS.
Well now that I've had my prerequisite repetative rant for the morning, have a nice Wednesday morning, everyone! And to people reading this in the future: Have a nice day no matter what time of the week it is!
Riddle me this, Batman: What changed kid's cartoons? Why are they so stupid, mundane, predictable yet bizarre? Here's a few suggestions for why.
1. "Kids like Random, right?" It's not "random". Not a single joke is "random" anymore. I can still sit and predict jokes in most TV shows unless they are puposefully designed to not make sense. Sometimes even then. The only thing "random" is what the people were smoking when they came up with character/design choices for shows like Flapjack or Adventure Time. Nobody who says "lol, Random." with a straight face knows what the word "random" really means. Roll a six-sided die. Did you get a six? How about a five? That's chance. Did you get a seven? That's Random. (go read the book The Black Swan: The impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb ). Did you predict what the roll of the dice would be? That's random (that, or you're Sasha Nein).
What Random ISN'T is "Let's make a main character who is childish, looks kinda like my great-aunt's cat, loves food, and is dumb as a post. That's random, right? Kids like random, right?" No. That isn't Random. If you go to www.tvtropes.org and spend a little time there (Don't go if you have something important to do in the next few days, it's that addictive). See if they aren't completely right about every trend on tv, in movies, and in any other form of media. There's a trope for everything, and since watching this I can't help but sit and predict everything that happens, including picking out which characters will die next, who will get with who, and which things that were passingly mentioned before will turn out to save the day (Hint: It's the thing that gets explained in semi-detail at the start of the episode that will turn out to be important. Keep in mind key details of the problem and the pseudoscience. It works best in Eureka).
2. "So, people like reality TV, right?" The Total Drama series is the main offender here. Why -why- WHY do people seem to think kids like this crap? Only older teens like this stuff, and the only reasons older teens are watching the Total Drama series is because it's that or watch Spongebob, which hasn't been good since -EVER- (see problem number one). (Though I would much rather watch Spongebob than some of the other offenders). I don't watch Jersey Shore because they're a bunch of complete tosspots. The only reason the Total Drama series is better is because the characters on that series aren't media-whoring on the news, too.
3. "Who should we get to voice act in this? A squirrel? Sure. How do we draw it? Poorly? Okay." Anyone who has even looked at Flapjack can see it's a complete eyesore, and the voice acting of the main character doesn't help. These people are talented, why are they stuck in these crap jobs?! Looking at the backgrounds: the patterns move. Not only does this not work aesthetically, it can cause migraines. Not helping is the squishy art style making everyone look like they consist of tumors and bacon fat. Voice actors are talented people, and so are people who can draw with any capacity, why are they voicing characters who are designed to be completely obnoxious and drawing characters that match? It's rather sad.
4. "Kids like snot jokes and talking about barf, right?" How I hate this misconception. As a child I didn't like shows like Cow and Chicken because of the former reasons and because of THIS. Why is snot an acceptable source of humor? Same with other bodily functions. It's really not funny, it's quite disgusting. I especially hate that stock sound of someone trying to suck their snot back into their nose. Even typing that sentence puts an upsetting visual and sound into my mind that makes me sorely want more coffee to drown it out. It's disgusting, guys. Stop it.
5. "Who should we get to direct this? Spielberg? Nah, let's get my friend of a friend. He's clever, right?" What I wouldn't give for another Spielberg cartoon. One of the people from the Animaniacs is working on an entirely improv cartoon based on cartoon vultures. I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. PLEASE. It can't be bad so long as they don't fall into the previous categories! I just want someone who can write a joke I can't roll my eyes at before walking outside. I want to get a chuckle out of my cartoons again! Please, someone get Spielberg. Or Paul Dini (back in cartoons, if you please, Mr. Dini. Cartoon network is for CARTOONS. ), or Bruce Timm! How many times must I say their names before someone realizes that the cartoon superheros of the 90's, Freakazoid, the Animaniacs, and Pinky and the Brain were some of the only good shows on TV at the time?! Heck, they need to just start putting stuff from Boomerang back on Cartoon Network! THEY WERE GOOD CARTOONS.
Well now that I've had my prerequisite repetative rant for the morning, have a nice Wednesday morning, everyone! And to people reading this in the future: Have a nice day no matter what time of the week it is!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Steampunk Portal Gun.
So after reading a few comments from @Wheatley_Core I got to thinking: What if there was a Steampunk portal?
IT WOULD BE AWESOME, THAT'S WHAT.
Think about this one, then:
There she was, running down the streets of London. Tap-tap-tap went high-heeled shoes on pavement. 'For science' they said. 'Cake' they said. To hell with the cake, and to hell with the Ripper who made it.
Blue portal through an open window, orange portal to the wall. Just hope nobody's in the house!
Lights off, and an orange portal projected into the kitchen. Looking in that direction, there was a little red glow...
"The/the/THERE you are." something ticked loudly as little magnetic spheres jolted through the air at the test subject in heels. A turret had been hiding to Chell's left. Made from clockwork, magnets, and some bizarre amalgamation of science that allowed them to speak, they fired without care at Chell, who dived behind a loveseat. Chell fired a portal outside, and one under the turret as one of the metal spheres left a welt in her shoulder.
"Owowowowowww!" The Turret whined as several windows broke outside. Chell put both portals outside until after the firing stopped, and walked through what she thought was a home, trying to get out.
It turned out she had only gone further into the scientific trap. All this time she thought she had escaped, but here it was. GlaDos. Ticking with clockwork and with chemicals flowing through veins of copper tubes. Her eyes swiveled to meet Chell's.
"Hello. We meet again. This is the last time. I bet you don't even remember the first because I killed you. Even after you killed me. We both got better, don't you know? I created this place to keep you occupied. I created the Ripper to bring you some excitement. I even. created. cake. The companion Cube misses you in the incinerator. Yes, even after all this time, the Cube still loves you. I don't know why, you're just a murderer. Heartless. So, come to kill me again? You monster. Fine. Go ahead. Don't expect me to fight back."
A door slid open and the Ripper was there. A beast of buzz-saws jutting out of its back and chest which could roll in any direction or walk to get anywhere it needed to go. It could even master portals.
"Just kidding. Hah. you should have seen your face when you thought I wasn't going to fight. Haha. Next time I won't let you come back. Goodbye, test subject. Forever."
The portal gun was retired the next day, split in half with bloodspatters on it.
The remnants were never found, but all that remains of the London Aperture Science Facility is a non-functioning turret. It was remodeled to dispense gumballs.
I hope that makes up for my lack of posts as of late!
IT WOULD BE AWESOME, THAT'S WHAT.
Think about this one, then:
There she was, running down the streets of London. Tap-tap-tap went high-heeled shoes on pavement. 'For science' they said. 'Cake' they said. To hell with the cake, and to hell with the Ripper who made it.
Blue portal through an open window, orange portal to the wall. Just hope nobody's in the house!
Lights off, and an orange portal projected into the kitchen. Looking in that direction, there was a little red glow...
"The/the/THERE you are." something ticked loudly as little magnetic spheres jolted through the air at the test subject in heels. A turret had been hiding to Chell's left. Made from clockwork, magnets, and some bizarre amalgamation of science that allowed them to speak, they fired without care at Chell, who dived behind a loveseat. Chell fired a portal outside, and one under the turret as one of the metal spheres left a welt in her shoulder.
"Owowowowowww!" The Turret whined as several windows broke outside. Chell put both portals outside until after the firing stopped, and walked through what she thought was a home, trying to get out.
It turned out she had only gone further into the scientific trap. All this time she thought she had escaped, but here it was. GlaDos. Ticking with clockwork and with chemicals flowing through veins of copper tubes. Her eyes swiveled to meet Chell's.
"Hello. We meet again. This is the last time. I bet you don't even remember the first because I killed you. Even after you killed me. We both got better, don't you know? I created this place to keep you occupied. I created the Ripper to bring you some excitement. I even. created. cake. The companion Cube misses you in the incinerator. Yes, even after all this time, the Cube still loves you. I don't know why, you're just a murderer. Heartless. So, come to kill me again? You monster. Fine. Go ahead. Don't expect me to fight back."
A door slid open and the Ripper was there. A beast of buzz-saws jutting out of its back and chest which could roll in any direction or walk to get anywhere it needed to go. It could even master portals.
"Just kidding. Hah. you should have seen your face when you thought I wasn't going to fight. Haha. Next time I won't let you come back. Goodbye, test subject. Forever."
The portal gun was retired the next day, split in half with bloodspatters on it.
The remnants were never found, but all that remains of the London Aperture Science Facility is a non-functioning turret. It was remodeled to dispense gumballs.
I hope that makes up for my lack of posts as of late!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Good gads, steampunk fads!
It is officially a late post (despite me having no official release date for posts aside from 'whenever I can set aside my other stuff and type') so I thought I would get back to the original point of the blog. (Ok, the original point is Steampunk /and/ superheros, but that's besides the point). Let's talk about Steampunk Fads!
Goggles:
Less a fad than a staple of the genre, Goggles are very important to aviators, engineers, and anyone else who can be trusted to move very fast or be in something that could obscure vision/hurt eyes. (The viewers of Jersey Shore are included in that section). Some choose to wear them regardless of what job they supposedly carry. I know I do! (I wear goggles to school each day. I'll probably stop next year, unfortunately.)
Phaser (Or however you spell it):
A lot of people love to mod Nerf Mavericks by painting them, or buying and painting dollar store guns. This may very well be the only society that supports cleverly painting a Nerf gun, considering how people have spazzed about them. And unlike those Anime conventions, I have yet to see peacebonding need to be enacted at Steamcon Seattle. (Then again, I don't carry phasers.)
Moustache:
I'll never understand this one. Old-timey victorian moustaches drawn on fingers or as necklaces. Some how said it's a hipster thing, but I've seen it happen at Steamcon too, so if someone would kindly inform me WTF all of that is about, that'd be great.
Mechanical arms/legs:
One of my favorite fads, the making of mechanical arms for the sheer sake of badassery will always be appreciated. Some look like Hellboy, some look like Nathan Fillion's arm from that one episode of Castle (If you can stop staring at his awesomeness for two seconds, difficult I know) all of them look pretty fricking awesome. I have also seen mechanical legs, and though they are less popular they are just as awesome.
Dragons:
I made a dragon backpack once (I have been asked numerous times what it is, it's just a really /really/ derpy looking dragon. I had scraps, so sue me.) and people seem to love it. I have seen awesome shoulder-perching dragons ranging from Beanie-Babies to slender badass dragons with LEDs inside to light it up. (I wish I had pictures of that one from Steamcon 2, it was awesome). There are some pretty sweet ones out there if you can find them.
Engineering masterpieces:
I saw a woman with a mechanical bird in a cage on her hat that moved and chirped. Need I saw more? Anyone who can make awesome mechanical stuff of that caliber is in this category. And I salute thee.
So there are just a few awesome fashion trends to mention. Maybe in the future I'll add pictures to show what I mean. For now, just think on the idea, and maybe google a few of the things mentioned. The Steampunk world is pretty frickin' awesome. :3
Goggles:
Less a fad than a staple of the genre, Goggles are very important to aviators, engineers, and anyone else who can be trusted to move very fast or be in something that could obscure vision/hurt eyes. (The viewers of Jersey Shore are included in that section). Some choose to wear them regardless of what job they supposedly carry. I know I do! (I wear goggles to school each day. I'll probably stop next year, unfortunately.)
Phaser (Or however you spell it):
A lot of people love to mod Nerf Mavericks by painting them, or buying and painting dollar store guns. This may very well be the only society that supports cleverly painting a Nerf gun, considering how people have spazzed about them. And unlike those Anime conventions, I have yet to see peacebonding need to be enacted at Steamcon Seattle. (Then again, I don't carry phasers.)
Moustache:
I'll never understand this one. Old-timey victorian moustaches drawn on fingers or as necklaces. Some how said it's a hipster thing, but I've seen it happen at Steamcon too, so if someone would kindly inform me WTF all of that is about, that'd be great.
Mechanical arms/legs:
One of my favorite fads, the making of mechanical arms for the sheer sake of badassery will always be appreciated. Some look like Hellboy, some look like Nathan Fillion's arm from that one episode of Castle (If you can stop staring at his awesomeness for two seconds, difficult I know) all of them look pretty fricking awesome. I have also seen mechanical legs, and though they are less popular they are just as awesome.
Dragons:
I made a dragon backpack once (I have been asked numerous times what it is, it's just a really /really/ derpy looking dragon. I had scraps, so sue me.) and people seem to love it. I have seen awesome shoulder-perching dragons ranging from Beanie-Babies to slender badass dragons with LEDs inside to light it up. (I wish I had pictures of that one from Steamcon 2, it was awesome). There are some pretty sweet ones out there if you can find them.
Engineering masterpieces:
I saw a woman with a mechanical bird in a cage on her hat that moved and chirped. Need I saw more? Anyone who can make awesome mechanical stuff of that caliber is in this category. And I salute thee.
So there are just a few awesome fashion trends to mention. Maybe in the future I'll add pictures to show what I mean. For now, just think on the idea, and maybe google a few of the things mentioned. The Steampunk world is pretty frickin' awesome. :3
Sunday, January 16, 2011
That is the Question.
For those of you who remember the nineties and early 2000 (if you don't, you're probably too young for my blog), remember the Justice League Unlimited. I know, I know, I talk about them all the time. Well shut up, this time I only want to talk about one character. The Question. The Brilliant conspiracy-theory mastermind who is reported to be possibly an even better detective than Batman. He single-handedly unraveled the Cadmus project and helped the league put a stop to it, managed a relationship with the Huntress, found another reason to hate boy-bands, and even knows that the little plastic things on the ends of your shoelaces are called Aglets.
So what did he and Huntress do after Cadmus had fallen? Well, permit me to fanfic a bit, and let me know what you think about my theory of what happened. Skip the Italics if you just want to get back to character study.
Beamed down by the teleporter, Question and Huntress walked along the street.
"I don't get it, Q. You could beam right into your house, you know that, right?"
"Forgive me if I don't find it too comforting, the idea of costumed compatriots appearing in my house whenever they feel like it." Q pointed out simply.
"Dude, what happened to your face?" Question hated skater kids who still said 'dude', but he so loved that question.
"I was born with it. It made playing 'Scarface' on stage much more interesting." He never answered the same way twice. His supposed lack of a face was certainly a conversation starter.
The kid ran off, almost surely about to tell his friends. Q continued walking with Huntress at his side, up a flight of stairs and into an old apartment building with low rent.
"Nice dump, Q. I would've thought the League would be paying you more." Huntress remarked flatly. She liked Q a lot, but his choice of apartments was sort of interesting. It wasn't her first time there, but it always surprised her that he never seemed to improve it.
"It's not home. It's just a base of operations. I don't like the League knowing where I live. I still like my privacy." He remarked, walking over to a cork board that had been left to rot on the floor. It was full of pictures, news clippings, strings, and pushpins. It was all of his findings on Cadmus. And now that Cadmus was taken down... Why have it?
"You could just preserve it and get a new board, Q." Huntress suggested on a nicer note, walking over to rest her hand on his shoulder compassionately. She knew what it was like to have no point to a mission anymore. It had to be hard on him to just stop investigating something he had spent so much time on.
Q thought for a few minutes. "No." He leaned down and picked up the board, carrying it over to the grungy couch where he sat with it on his lap and let his fingertips toy with the lines of string, twine, and yarn connecting all the little pieces. The scraps of information nobody but he could truly decipher and put together.
Huntress sat next to him and watched Q play with the strands. She couldn't see his eyes, but she could guess that his look was longing, in a way. It was good that Cadmus was gone, but now what would he do? She had never known him to be too interested in much else.
Q started unceremoniously plucking the pushpins from the board one-by-one and setting them back on the coffee table. "I suppose now I'll just have to go back to my real job. I wonder how Aristotle is doing." He remarked pleasantly, turning the TV onto some pop-music station blaring shrieking teenage singers while he started ripping pieces off the board.
"Who?" Huntress was understandably confused. But she could tell Q was smiling.
So who is the Question? Well, he's a detective. Sure he is a conspiracy theorist, but big whoop. Now that Cadmus is gone, he's not going to retire to some bar and wish it was back to the old days. It was a victory story. Now that he's won, it's time to go find a new battle to fight. He has new allies, he might pack up and go back to his real home, and maybe he would introduce Huntress to Aristotle (though that crosses continuities, and crossing continuities is like crossing the streams. I'm kinda expecting hatemail). I think Huntress would be supportive, but I also think she has a harder time taking Change than Question might. Q has always been a mysterious, philosophical fellow. I think he can stand solving one case and moving on to the next.
I just wanted to write the fanfictiony bit somewhere that someone might care, so feel free to skip this post if you hate things like that. Just a series of observations.
So what did he and Huntress do after Cadmus had fallen? Well, permit me to fanfic a bit, and let me know what you think about my theory of what happened. Skip the Italics if you just want to get back to character study.
Beamed down by the teleporter, Question and Huntress walked along the street.
"I don't get it, Q. You could beam right into your house, you know that, right?"
"Forgive me if I don't find it too comforting, the idea of costumed compatriots appearing in my house whenever they feel like it." Q pointed out simply.
"Dude, what happened to your face?" Question hated skater kids who still said 'dude', but he so loved that question.
"I was born with it. It made playing 'Scarface' on stage much more interesting." He never answered the same way twice. His supposed lack of a face was certainly a conversation starter.
The kid ran off, almost surely about to tell his friends. Q continued walking with Huntress at his side, up a flight of stairs and into an old apartment building with low rent.
"Nice dump, Q. I would've thought the League would be paying you more." Huntress remarked flatly. She liked Q a lot, but his choice of apartments was sort of interesting. It wasn't her first time there, but it always surprised her that he never seemed to improve it.
"It's not home. It's just a base of operations. I don't like the League knowing where I live. I still like my privacy." He remarked, walking over to a cork board that had been left to rot on the floor. It was full of pictures, news clippings, strings, and pushpins. It was all of his findings on Cadmus. And now that Cadmus was taken down... Why have it?
"You could just preserve it and get a new board, Q." Huntress suggested on a nicer note, walking over to rest her hand on his shoulder compassionately. She knew what it was like to have no point to a mission anymore. It had to be hard on him to just stop investigating something he had spent so much time on.
Q thought for a few minutes. "No." He leaned down and picked up the board, carrying it over to the grungy couch where he sat with it on his lap and let his fingertips toy with the lines of string, twine, and yarn connecting all the little pieces. The scraps of information nobody but he could truly decipher and put together.
Huntress sat next to him and watched Q play with the strands. She couldn't see his eyes, but she could guess that his look was longing, in a way. It was good that Cadmus was gone, but now what would he do? She had never known him to be too interested in much else.
Q started unceremoniously plucking the pushpins from the board one-by-one and setting them back on the coffee table. "I suppose now I'll just have to go back to my real job. I wonder how Aristotle is doing." He remarked pleasantly, turning the TV onto some pop-music station blaring shrieking teenage singers while he started ripping pieces off the board.
"Who?" Huntress was understandably confused. But she could tell Q was smiling.
So who is the Question? Well, he's a detective. Sure he is a conspiracy theorist, but big whoop. Now that Cadmus is gone, he's not going to retire to some bar and wish it was back to the old days. It was a victory story. Now that he's won, it's time to go find a new battle to fight. He has new allies, he might pack up and go back to his real home, and maybe he would introduce Huntress to Aristotle (though that crosses continuities, and crossing continuities is like crossing the streams. I'm kinda expecting hatemail). I think Huntress would be supportive, but I also think she has a harder time taking Change than Question might. Q has always been a mysterious, philosophical fellow. I think he can stand solving one case and moving on to the next.
I just wanted to write the fanfictiony bit somewhere that someone might care, so feel free to skip this post if you hate things like that. Just a series of observations.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Let's talk Fanfiction.
I hate Wednesdays. Seriously. I am SO busy on Wednesdays. But once again, I forgo sleep to write about nothing on a blog nobody reads. Fun, right?
I should really start accepting superhero fanfiction snippets from people just so I can talk about the writing (whether it be bad or good), make some well-meaning jests, kid alongside others, and maybe make some poor nooblet cry.
But seriously, as much as I constantly rag on Fanfiction (and not undeserved, I might add.)there is actually some real merit behind it. before you give me funny looks, let me list a few reasons why I like the idea.
1. It gets people writing. And practice makes perfect. Sometimes you need a LOT of practice. Just so long as they're trying to make it look presentable. I don't give two shits about something written in chat speak.
2. It's always interesting to see new ideas on old favorite fandoms. What if Tony Stark re-painted his armor? What if Superman went on the Colbert Report? What if Robin wore sensible clothes? What if Aquaman didn't suck? (I kid, I kid! Don't kill me with the hook hand!)
3. Believe it or not, fans can offer more to a character than sometimes even the professionally written comics can. At least, when written well enough. Most of the time fanfiction writers are painfully shallow creatures (Sasha Nein is not an emo, Tidus is not some poetic young athlete, and Superman isn't as big of a lughead as everyone thinks.) But some gems out there can really add some depth to a character. I can't think of any off the top of my head for how few there are and how little fanfiction I read, but there has to be some SOMEWHERE like this.
4. Most importantly: They are GREAT for a laugh. Seriously, I read a Batman fanfiction snippet (don't ask why, I was bored) where Batman called the Scarecrow a Whore. I had to stop reading there because I laughed so hard I was crying and didn't want to be scarred for life, but it was hilarious while it lasted.
Now I don't condone completely stupid pairings in fanfiction. I don't mean "Oh, so you think there's no way Batman could be gay?" I mean "Why is Batman jumping the Scarecrow's bones?" Is not something I should EVER HAVE TO THINK. EVER. Fanfiction tends to tend toward the crack-y, and that's ok at times. Sometimes it's funny to just read a piece of fanfiction that is all about the "wtf?" Big-lipped alligator moments. These should be clearly labeled (next to the mandatory 'toxic waste' sticker) as such so we all know what we're getting into. For the rest of the fanfiction writers, be sincere and try your bestest to stick to the characters. And Heaven help any of you, should I see a hyper-active Batman.
Have a nice Wednesday night (what's left of it) and I shall see ye when I post next! (feel free to send SHORT -and I say again- SHORT snippets of fanfiction by a link in the comments if it's superhero-related and rated T or less. And if you don't think it will make me scratch my eyes out in pain.)
Good Night everybody!
I should really start accepting superhero fanfiction snippets from people just so I can talk about the writing (whether it be bad or good), make some well-meaning jests, kid alongside others, and maybe make some poor nooblet cry.
But seriously, as much as I constantly rag on Fanfiction (and not undeserved, I might add.)there is actually some real merit behind it. before you give me funny looks, let me list a few reasons why I like the idea.
1. It gets people writing. And practice makes perfect. Sometimes you need a LOT of practice. Just so long as they're trying to make it look presentable. I don't give two shits about something written in chat speak.
2. It's always interesting to see new ideas on old favorite fandoms. What if Tony Stark re-painted his armor? What if Superman went on the Colbert Report? What if Robin wore sensible clothes? What if Aquaman didn't suck? (I kid, I kid! Don't kill me with the hook hand!)
3. Believe it or not, fans can offer more to a character than sometimes even the professionally written comics can. At least, when written well enough. Most of the time fanfiction writers are painfully shallow creatures (Sasha Nein is not an emo, Tidus is not some poetic young athlete, and Superman isn't as big of a lughead as everyone thinks.) But some gems out there can really add some depth to a character. I can't think of any off the top of my head for how few there are and how little fanfiction I read, but there has to be some SOMEWHERE like this.
4. Most importantly: They are GREAT for a laugh. Seriously, I read a Batman fanfiction snippet (don't ask why, I was bored) where Batman called the Scarecrow a Whore. I had to stop reading there because I laughed so hard I was crying and didn't want to be scarred for life, but it was hilarious while it lasted.
Now I don't condone completely stupid pairings in fanfiction. I don't mean "Oh, so you think there's no way Batman could be gay?" I mean "Why is Batman jumping the Scarecrow's bones?" Is not something I should EVER HAVE TO THINK. EVER. Fanfiction tends to tend toward the crack-y, and that's ok at times. Sometimes it's funny to just read a piece of fanfiction that is all about the "wtf?" Big-lipped alligator moments. These should be clearly labeled (next to the mandatory 'toxic waste' sticker) as such so we all know what we're getting into. For the rest of the fanfiction writers, be sincere and try your bestest to stick to the characters. And Heaven help any of you, should I see a hyper-active Batman.
Have a nice Wednesday night (what's left of it) and I shall see ye when I post next! (feel free to send SHORT -and I say again- SHORT snippets of fanfiction by a link in the comments if it's superhero-related and rated T or less. And if you don't think it will make me scratch my eyes out in pain.)
Good Night everybody!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
One Cleric Short
For all two of my regular readers (and bless you for reading, too!) I've started co-writing on another blog!
http://oneclericshort.blogspot.com/
One Cleric Short is somewhat of a twitter-brainchild of Thedrinkinggeek, SmallShopBlogR, and myself. We are perpetually one cleric short (and apparently not looking for replacements) and a bit of a motley crue of (if I have my details right): One time-traveling Victorian, one drunken Bard, and one Paladin. Do we have a chance?
Doubt it. But we're sure as hell gonna try, anyways! Join us in ridiculing games and movies, praising valiant attempts at Larping, and generally being geeks who are one cleric short of a full party and loving it.
(And yes. I will still post here fairly regularly. ;3 )
http://oneclericshort.blogspot.com/
One Cleric Short is somewhat of a twitter-brainchild of Thedrinkinggeek, SmallShopBlogR, and myself. We are perpetually one cleric short (and apparently not looking for replacements) and a bit of a motley crue of (if I have my details right): One time-traveling Victorian, one drunken Bard, and one Paladin. Do we have a chance?
Doubt it. But we're sure as hell gonna try, anyways! Join us in ridiculing games and movies, praising valiant attempts at Larping, and generally being geeks who are one cleric short of a full party and loving it.
(And yes. I will still post here fairly regularly. ;3 )
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Ever notice...
Just a couple of odd observations and attempted explanations.
Did you ever notice how few ethnic superheros there are? What this says to me is that only white people lack the common sense to avoid signing up for drug trials that aren't tested and might be that magical kind of radioactive that gives superpowers, they're the only scientists that royally screw up the magically radioactive experiments, or the only ones who think "My life sucks, maybe I'll make it better with EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY!" (or in the case of the powerpuff girls, chemical X.) Granted there are a few superheros who aren't white (often the especially cool ones like Cyborg or Bumblebee)but then I wonder how many hispanic superheros there are. I'm trying to make a list and I seriously can't think of any that don't include Zorro. (technically not a superhero, but I'm counting him because he's AWESOME.)Technically I guess you could count the badguy from Freakazoid, but I really think that just hurts the cause. Would someone PLEASE find me a few hispanic superheros? I'm seriously at a loss.
On another note, Two-face's tie is a clip on.
Think otherwise?
The top-knot of the tie has a vertical split. Good luck tying that properly without it being a clip-on! (coincidentally, if you have pictures that prove me otherwise, post! I'd love to know.)
Batman and Lois Lane dated.
Let that sink in for a moment.
In Batman the Animated Series there was a scene (unless I hallucinated the whole thing) that implies Batman and Lois had dated (directly after she gets kidnapped and rescued, then calmly remarks that her kidnappers got oil stains on her carpet)where the Bat apologizes for an old relationship. Thanks to that, I now can't take the "superman has a child" plot from Superman Returns (Which, for the record, was the most obvious plot twist since "Clark Kent is actually superman") seriously.
Just a couple of observations. Let me know if you have any other neat observations or suggestions for things to talk about.
Did you ever notice how few ethnic superheros there are? What this says to me is that only white people lack the common sense to avoid signing up for drug trials that aren't tested and might be that magical kind of radioactive that gives superpowers, they're the only scientists that royally screw up the magically radioactive experiments, or the only ones who think "My life sucks, maybe I'll make it better with EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY!" (or in the case of the powerpuff girls, chemical X.) Granted there are a few superheros who aren't white (often the especially cool ones like Cyborg or Bumblebee)but then I wonder how many hispanic superheros there are. I'm trying to make a list and I seriously can't think of any that don't include Zorro. (technically not a superhero, but I'm counting him because he's AWESOME.)Technically I guess you could count the badguy from Freakazoid, but I really think that just hurts the cause. Would someone PLEASE find me a few hispanic superheros? I'm seriously at a loss.
On another note, Two-face's tie is a clip on.
Think otherwise?
The top-knot of the tie has a vertical split. Good luck tying that properly without it being a clip-on! (coincidentally, if you have pictures that prove me otherwise, post! I'd love to know.)
Batman and Lois Lane dated.
Let that sink in for a moment.
In Batman the Animated Series there was a scene (unless I hallucinated the whole thing) that implies Batman and Lois had dated (directly after she gets kidnapped and rescued, then calmly remarks that her kidnappers got oil stains on her carpet)where the Bat apologizes for an old relationship. Thanks to that, I now can't take the "superman has a child" plot from Superman Returns (Which, for the record, was the most obvious plot twist since "Clark Kent is actually superman") seriously.
Just a couple of observations. Let me know if you have any other neat observations or suggestions for things to talk about.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Folklore Review
Now to be fair, I did not play the entirety of Folklore. So if you believe (and you would be well within your rights to do so) that one must play the full game before reviewing something, kindly pass this by. It's just a "first impressions".
Let's do this in categories.
The game is set for the PS3, and it's a JRPG. There are no achievements for this game.
Characters:
There's something awkward about the characters. There's two main characters: Ellen and Keats. Ellen is a whiny little girl who lost her mother (She's dead, except she seems to have written a letter to Ellen which tells her to go to Doolin, so maybe she's not dead, except Ellen is confused about her mother's death, except she still thinks that's odd, so your guess is as good as mine) and who can't walk around without her hand at her chest like she's holding a necklace she isn't wearing. Her clothes are actually pretty modest (odd, since this is pretty much a JRPG) until her Deus Ex Machina hits and she suddenly gets a new outfit, and an absolutely ridiculous hair setup that seems to involve fountains of braids.
The other character is Keats, who is much more believable, and absolutely awesome to behold for how hilarious his setup is. The man works for an occult magazine (For those of you wondering, if you've played Silent Hill Three, you've seen him before. he looks like Vincent, but with slightly longer hair and a way cooler coat) and receives a strange call telling him to go to Doolin because of ghosts or fairies or something equally occult and mysterious. The occult magazine people being particularly credulous sorts (*cough*) he thinks it's a prank, but goes to investigate anyways. I'm not commenting on the plot of the game because I don't understand enough about it (being a JRPG, I think it probably requires a full playthrough, and possibly a second playthrough to fully understand how weird it really is) so I'll just talk about how awesome he is. This man, in the face of ghosts, fairies, witches, and bizarre creatures consistently remarks that it's just a lucid dream. If memory serves, he even says this after he begins investigating the lives of the families of the dead people he meets on his travels. Truly an amazing character for numbers of reasons.
Some side characters are the Scarecrow and the Invisible Man. They have names, but that's who they really are. They are amazing for many reasons. the Scarecrow is quirky (and probably evil. I'm calling it right now), and the Invisible Man is sophisticated and really good fun to look at. My problem: Voice Acting in this game is minimal. Is it really so hard to keep your voice actors around for the whole game? Or at least have them speak those dialogue boxes? Visual novel style is ok for computers and handheld consoles, but this is the PS3. We can do better, guys.
Game mechanics:
Ok, there's not much to say about this. The customizable attack buttons are a nice idea, elemental attacks are fine and good, and aside from the fact that you can't jump or deviate from the VERY LINEAR plot (or maybe it just really wants you to follow the prologue and I'm just a sheep, because the game advertises that choices you make as one character effect the other), it seems pretty solid. What I can't stand is when the Sixaxis is a required part of the game. The Sixaxis really feels unrefined. The basis for how it is used (somewhat like a whip capturing the souls of the things you fight. I don't get it either.) makes that unrefined feeling somewhat warranted, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant to use.
Visuals: I think there are many different worlds to explore, but I have seen the first and the town of Doolin and that's it. Doolin looks kind of like a real place (Some place in Ireland with bad accents and about five people in the entirety of the town. The most populated place is probably the pub. So... Close enough to accurate, right?) but the real fun is looking at the art for the Fairy (ok, ok, they say "faerie" I think, but I don't personally think it matters how you spell it.) world. The faerie world has very pretty, very colorful art. In every shade of pastel and rainbow the artists could find on their color palates. It was quite pleasant, but once you realize you can't really explore a level when it's flat terrain and you can't jump, it's kind of a pity that they made it look so nice and it won't have much potential.
The enemy designs were unique and interesting to look at, and it does have a sort of pokemon-esque 'catch-em-all' vibe to it, but the interest is short lived once you realize you will never be able to explore all of their abilities to their full potential, and managing so many abilities would become a royal pain in the end.
It's a decent rental, but not something I would want to buy (except I did buy it already. oops). It's definitely worth a look, but my suggestion for best play: Get a group of friends and sit around talking about bad dubbing or how amusing some of the characters and dialogue are.
Let's do this in categories.
The game is set for the PS3, and it's a JRPG. There are no achievements for this game.
Characters:
There's something awkward about the characters. There's two main characters: Ellen and Keats. Ellen is a whiny little girl who lost her mother (She's dead, except she seems to have written a letter to Ellen which tells her to go to Doolin, so maybe she's not dead, except Ellen is confused about her mother's death, except she still thinks that's odd, so your guess is as good as mine) and who can't walk around without her hand at her chest like she's holding a necklace she isn't wearing. Her clothes are actually pretty modest (odd, since this is pretty much a JRPG) until her Deus Ex Machina hits and she suddenly gets a new outfit, and an absolutely ridiculous hair setup that seems to involve fountains of braids.
The other character is Keats, who is much more believable, and absolutely awesome to behold for how hilarious his setup is. The man works for an occult magazine (For those of you wondering, if you've played Silent Hill Three, you've seen him before. he looks like Vincent, but with slightly longer hair and a way cooler coat) and receives a strange call telling him to go to Doolin because of ghosts or fairies or something equally occult and mysterious. The occult magazine people being particularly credulous sorts (*cough*) he thinks it's a prank, but goes to investigate anyways. I'm not commenting on the plot of the game because I don't understand enough about it (being a JRPG, I think it probably requires a full playthrough, and possibly a second playthrough to fully understand how weird it really is) so I'll just talk about how awesome he is. This man, in the face of ghosts, fairies, witches, and bizarre creatures consistently remarks that it's just a lucid dream. If memory serves, he even says this after he begins investigating the lives of the families of the dead people he meets on his travels. Truly an amazing character for numbers of reasons.
Some side characters are the Scarecrow and the Invisible Man. They have names, but that's who they really are. They are amazing for many reasons. the Scarecrow is quirky (and probably evil. I'm calling it right now), and the Invisible Man is sophisticated and really good fun to look at. My problem: Voice Acting in this game is minimal. Is it really so hard to keep your voice actors around for the whole game? Or at least have them speak those dialogue boxes? Visual novel style is ok for computers and handheld consoles, but this is the PS3. We can do better, guys.
Game mechanics:
Ok, there's not much to say about this. The customizable attack buttons are a nice idea, elemental attacks are fine and good, and aside from the fact that you can't jump or deviate from the VERY LINEAR plot (or maybe it just really wants you to follow the prologue and I'm just a sheep, because the game advertises that choices you make as one character effect the other), it seems pretty solid. What I can't stand is when the Sixaxis is a required part of the game. The Sixaxis really feels unrefined. The basis for how it is used (somewhat like a whip capturing the souls of the things you fight. I don't get it either.) makes that unrefined feeling somewhat warranted, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant to use.
Visuals: I think there are many different worlds to explore, but I have seen the first and the town of Doolin and that's it. Doolin looks kind of like a real place (Some place in Ireland with bad accents and about five people in the entirety of the town. The most populated place is probably the pub. So... Close enough to accurate, right?) but the real fun is looking at the art for the Fairy (ok, ok, they say "faerie" I think, but I don't personally think it matters how you spell it.) world. The faerie world has very pretty, very colorful art. In every shade of pastel and rainbow the artists could find on their color palates. It was quite pleasant, but once you realize you can't really explore a level when it's flat terrain and you can't jump, it's kind of a pity that they made it look so nice and it won't have much potential.
The enemy designs were unique and interesting to look at, and it does have a sort of pokemon-esque 'catch-em-all' vibe to it, but the interest is short lived once you realize you will never be able to explore all of their abilities to their full potential, and managing so many abilities would become a royal pain in the end.
It's a decent rental, but not something I would want to buy (except I did buy it already. oops). It's definitely worth a look, but my suggestion for best play: Get a group of friends and sit around talking about bad dubbing or how amusing some of the characters and dialogue are.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Excuses, Excuses...
Busy days, my Wednesdays. Lab day, Financial Peace meetings, and an anime club I don't attend. (sorry kids at the library, but I really just don't care for it anymore.) To top it all off, I discovered us.akinator.com
Yeah, so have fun wasting hours of your life on this time sinkhole. It's so fun~
Enjoy while I distract myself further!
Yeah, so have fun wasting hours of your life on this time sinkhole. It's so fun~
Enjoy while I distract myself further!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
To stave off homework...
Good gads, College is stressful. Between the no-nonsense "THOU SHALT NOT MISS CLASS" attitude of my Japanese teacher and the complete "I already knew this stuff in highschool" feeling I dread from Physics and British Literature (wasn't expecting that one) It's not so much the difficulty of the work as the difficulty of the memory.
Speaking of Difficulty of the memory, I started working on this post sometime around six at night, and it's currently ten-o-clock and time for bed.
I promise I'll at least attempt to find something that isn't completely boring to look at soon enough. Just as soon as I learn to manage time and think of something that isn't useless rambling.
HEY BY THE WAY. Check out Comic Evolution! www.comic-evolution.com Seriously. Support the shrinking comicbook industry if you like comics, if you don't like comics or you say you prefer anime, try something new. You might be surprised by what you find!
(Some favorite comics of mine: Arkham Asylum Serious House on Serious Earth, Arkham Asylum Living Hell, the Spirit (the crossover with Batman), the Question, and Nightwing Year One. )
Speaking of Difficulty of the memory, I started working on this post sometime around six at night, and it's currently ten-o-clock and time for bed.
I promise I'll at least attempt to find something that isn't completely boring to look at soon enough. Just as soon as I learn to manage time and think of something that isn't useless rambling.
HEY BY THE WAY. Check out Comic Evolution! www.comic-evolution.com Seriously. Support the shrinking comicbook industry if you like comics, if you don't like comics or you say you prefer anime, try something new. You might be surprised by what you find!
(Some favorite comics of mine: Arkham Asylum Serious House on Serious Earth, Arkham Asylum Living Hell, the Spirit (the crossover with Batman), the Question, and Nightwing Year One. )
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Gas masks
So every Steampunk knows about Goggles being famous in the genre (and another post on that some other time) but another famous one is Gas Masks. In the middle of the victorian era they had plenty of diseases, and were only just finding out how dangerous germs were. Well, sometimes there's just nothing you can do but get a gas mask. What's a sophisticated English lady or gentleman to do?
Get Haslett's Lung Protector!
Here is what the Wikipedia article on Respirators has to say:
"The first US patent for an air purifying respirator was granted to Lewis P. Haslett in 1848 for his 'Haslett's Lung Protector,' which filtered dust from the air using one-way clapper valves and a filter made of moistened wool or a similar porous substance. Following Haslett, a long string of patents were issued for air purifying devices, including patents for the use of cotton fibers as a filtering medium, for charcoal and lime absorption of poisonous vapors, and for improvements on the eyepiece and eyepiece assembly. Hutson Hurd patented a cup-shaped mask in 1879 that became widespread in industrial use, and Hurd's H.S. Cover Company was still in business in the 1970s."
It's not particularly useful to know this unless you happen to be writing a story set in the 1800's, but I found it immensely interesting, so I figured it was worth a remark. The rest of the Wiki entry on the subject is also quite fascinating.
Never underestimate a quick wiki search when you need fast information for a FICTIONAL story. (Don't use it when writing fact, you'll make a fool out of yourself using Wikipedia as a source. I only use it here because I would only write Fiction/Science Fiction. I suggest cross-referencing with other studies or -even better- using google scholar to find scholarly papers on the subject, if you chose to write accurate history.)
Just some fun facts that might prove useful for Victorian writers.
Get Haslett's Lung Protector!
Here is what the Wikipedia article on Respirators has to say:
"The first US patent for an air purifying respirator was granted to Lewis P. Haslett in 1848 for his 'Haslett's Lung Protector,' which filtered dust from the air using one-way clapper valves and a filter made of moistened wool or a similar porous substance. Following Haslett, a long string of patents were issued for air purifying devices, including patents for the use of cotton fibers as a filtering medium, for charcoal and lime absorption of poisonous vapors, and for improvements on the eyepiece and eyepiece assembly. Hutson Hurd patented a cup-shaped mask in 1879 that became widespread in industrial use, and Hurd's H.S. Cover Company was still in business in the 1970s."
It's not particularly useful to know this unless you happen to be writing a story set in the 1800's, but I found it immensely interesting, so I figured it was worth a remark. The rest of the Wiki entry on the subject is also quite fascinating.
Never underestimate a quick wiki search when you need fast information for a FICTIONAL story. (Don't use it when writing fact, you'll make a fool out of yourself using Wikipedia as a source. I only use it here because I would only write Fiction/Science Fiction. I suggest cross-referencing with other studies or -even better- using google scholar to find scholarly papers on the subject, if you chose to write accurate history.)
Just some fun facts that might prove useful for Victorian writers.
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